Someone once told me that “the ultimate heartbreak” is something everyone must experience. Whether it’s by the one who got a way, the one who won’t go away, or the one who purposely left, the pain we experience from the ultimate heartbreak sets the bar in all future relationships and teaches us lessons we never forget.

The thing with believing in such is that, for those who have not yet experienced this ultimate heartbreak, it can consume you. You then begin to live in fear that whomsoever you meet might give you just that. You know you’re never going to be ready for that so you put on your armor and start building walls. But just when you thought you’ve managed to escape any form of hurting, you realize that this heartbreak doesn’t always happen in one go. Reminders of missed out opportunities and romantic dreams that you know might never come true begin to seep through the walls you’ve built.

For someone who’s so easily enlivened by the idea of the perfect future, it’s funny how you find yourself fearful of the journey. You’d take any form of detour just to avoid the possibility that you might hurt yourself along the way, but at the same time you want this agitation to end.

Sometimes the healing is in the aching. When we accept the idea that we can and will get hurt and that the possibility of the ultimate heartbreak is real, we build immunity instead of walls and gain freedom instead of feeling imprisoned. The journey is long and the pain (in any way or form) is inevitable but it is paramount.

The Ultimate Heartbreak doesn’t always involve someone else

More often than not, it’s self-inflicted.  It’s hard to wake up one day and accept the truths of love and life. It is a process that happens within us that swallows the best of us and hurts us. But when we are ready, we break down those walls and we face reality head on. When we are ready, the idea of the “ultimate heartbreak” and all other things we feared no longer consume us but instead keep us grounded.

When we fear and hide, we may lose the shot at the love we deserve. We can’t always expect someone to break down those walls for us and find us. It is in mistakes and in pain where we learn the most valuable lessons, and it is the fact that it can make us better people that makes the ache truly worth it.