Yesterday, I was told by some of my blogger friends that they had a video of me from my pageant days. “Oh gosh, I probably said something stupid. Please don’t show it to me!!!” I said, slightly embarrassed by it. But you know how friends are. They played it in front of me, in front of my other blogger friends, and in front of my boss and I almost passed out. I looked away, but I’d hear my voice and I cringed!
Later on that night, I decided to be brave and watch it again. “Everyone’s seen it, except for you,” they said. OK. FINE. And what I saw… was, well… two things. But I’ll get to that. I’m sharing this video (please don’t laugh at my hair, make-up, and outfit. I swore to you, I was NOT ready!) so that you could relate to what I’m about to say. If you’ve seen it, skip na!
Crowning Glory – Camera Geek PH
Okay, so… on to the two things.
#1 I was idealistic, and maybe I should BE that again
There are ideals that I held strongly even (and/or especially) post-pageant, and there were some that I have little by little let go or forgotten. One of the ideals that I’ve almost forgotten was my “mission in life” (LOL) to be an instrument of change. Sometimes, I wake up in the morning thinking… “Okay, I just want to get this day over with!” forgetting that each MINUTE that we’re blessed with is another chance to make a difference, whether it be with other people or within us.
This throwback is just in time. I need to restart even before 2015 begins!
This was the exact moment where all that was running through my head was: WHAT AM I DOING?!
#2 I’m right on track
Despite the much needed restart, I mentioned that if I could influence, it would be a big deal for me. And seeing where I am now from where I was then, I KNOW I’m playing my cards right.
Last night, barely an hour after watching the video, I had a chat with people from the office. They gave me the verification I needed: I am where I need to be. I am empowered and in a (wonderful) career that not only fulfills my wanderlust but also my need to have a voice, to make a change.
The path we are led to are sometimes unplanned, unconventional, unwanted, but they are necessary and I will thank the Lord every waking moment of my life for all the chances I am given.
This also serves as note to self. Thank you.