Why can’t you just be happy for me?
When you’re at the center of it all (or the one being “attacked”) you’ll really find it hard to distinguish a hater from someone who actually cares. They both pretty much oppose what you’re doing or thinking and they hit you where it hurts, and then you begin to wonder: “Is it me against the world?”
You know your parents will give you sound advice but you shut it off for words you’d like to hear. Your friends will more or less get you, right? But what if they didn’t catch that memo? What if they told you the one thing that you didn’t expect them to say? Stop it. It’s not good for you. You’re better off with someone else. You’re not making the right decision! It’s not going to end well. Then you start to shiver inside, almost faint, but you can’t show it. You think about it then doubt yourself for a minute. It hurts. Then again, it’s easier to put the blame on them than admit you were wrong. They’re just jealous. They just don’t know how to be happy for other people! They never wanted to see me happy anyways. Does that make you feel better? Are you really happy knowing your closest friends are against what you’re doing?
I honestly get annoyed when people ask me for advice but don’t take it anyways. But I’ve learned to respect that. It’s either (a) they’re willing to take the risks that I’ve laid out for them, or (b) they’ve heard better sounding advice from someone else (something that they wanted to hear). I’ve been on the other side, and I know what it’s like to be against what people would drop as “common sense”. I know what it’s like to feel like I’ve let people down. I have shut out advice from people. I owned up to them and stood by my decisions.
New courtesy: Apologize to the people who’s advice you didn’t take. Explain if you must.
There are two important questions you should ask yourself before taking advice:
(1) Who are you listening to?
Is he or she a relative, a very close friend, or an acquaintance? You’ll never really know who you’re going to get the best advice from because sometimes it comes from the most unexpected sources. You can’t take everyone’s advice because, some how some of them will clash. You can choose who to listen to, and you can choose which advice you take, but choose wisely.
(2) Have you listened to yourself?
Have you ever asked yourself for advice? What if your friend asked you advice for the same problem? I admit to giving sound advice to others but have difficulties listening to my own advice, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone (…or am I?) When people ask for advice, the adviser roots their answers from their own experiences and it’s not always going to be the same for everyone. But you, more than anyone else, know the possibilities and the context of your dilemma far better.
At the end of the day, you’re still the one that’s going to make the final decision and it’s you who’s going to be living with the perks and/or punishments of your choice. You know what you want, need, and what makes sense but sometimes those three things aren’t the same. So what’s it going to be?
I’ve always believed that people already knew what to do with their problems — all they need is someone to support that thought and give kick-ass advice. I can’t be the one to tell you who’s a hater and who’s a true friend because I know you’ll know. And if you don’t want to hear the truth (because you know the truth hurts), then how about getting advice from the Magic 8 ball and shake until the answer you want comes up?